Did you make New Year’s Resolutions?
What about intentions or goals?
Behaviour change can be difficult.
Buddhism teaches us to meet ourselves where we are at this moment, not striving for the future or ruminating about the past. Our intention is to be present with what is, whether we like it or not. Thoughts, feelings and emotions will come and go like the weather so our best bet is to train our monkey mind not to react to every little stimulus.
Yoga teaches that we are already perfect and here on Earth to learn lessons in a physical form. Numerous techniques are designed to trick our minds into recognizing that we are more than this body-mind complex. Our intention is to be present with what is and take action according to our inner compass or guidance.
Both of these systems contain within them practices and methods of increasing self-awareness. You can’t solve a problem that you don’t see. First you become aware, then you experience how it’s not working well, then you see you can make a different choice, then you make that new choice your new habit. This all can take a very long time and outside support in the form of an experienced teacher or counselor can be useful.
In the Western world view based on productivity and endless growth, jumping on the train of self-improvement is a natural result. Whether it’s related to work or personal development, we are inundated with “hacks” and ways to make our lives better. If we approach this idea of resolutions because everyone else is doing it, or we feel bad about ourselves for some perceived shortcoming, these motivations may not connect with our deeper values and therefore have less meaning.
If we genuinely would like to make changes and are keen on structured learning, there are lots of tools available to help us these days. For example, if we want to meditate or practice yoga more often, we can work with that intention or aim and create a plan. We can use an app, join a class, listen to a recording…there’s no shortage of options. The tools are available, What can set us up for greater success is knowing our current habits and obstacles and then choosing the appropriate strategy to combat each one.
To be the most effective, we can take advantage of behavioural psychology research that breaks down the barriers to change and identifies the most effective strategies for dealing with each barrier.
Note that several of these are similar to the nine obstacles to yoga practice mentioned in ancient texts.
See which ones you identify with and if the strategies suggested have worked for you or you’d like to give them a try.
- Fresh start effect
The start of a new calendar year, or a new school year, or a birthday or any time that feels like a beginning gives us a psychological boost of fresh start energy. Use it to get you going whatever your aim is. If it doesn’t feel like a meaningful time, we tend not to take the action.
- Impulsivity. This could be related to the yogic idea of false views of practice or Bhrantidarshana. This is related to the mindset of going all out and pushing through resistance as the way to succeed. This is what many people think is the most effective way to reach a goal. Actually, research shows that if we want to get into better shape, for example, rather than going on a very difficult machine at the gym using maximum effort, we’re better off to choose something that we will enjoy, for example signing up for a dance class with a friend. We are more likely to stick with it, there’s social benefits we look forward to it. It may be less specific regarding fitness goals and calories burned etc. , however we will do it more often and have fun doing it. This beats trying to force ourselves to do the very hard exercise which we most likely will not be consistent with, (unless we happen to enjoy that too. ) Another strategy shown to work is to set a rule for yourself such as you only listen to fiction audio books or your favourite podcasts if you are working out. Then you are making it more fun and something to look forward to. This can help with procrastination as well.
- Procrastination. In yogic terms, mental stagnation or styana. Also lack of focus. If this is your challenge, make your life easier by rewarding yourself. You can take advantage of fresh start energy and you can sign up for something with a friend, you can commit to a series of yoga classes (hint, hint) rather than drop-ins, you can plan a reward for yourself for when you reach your goal. You can also set yourself up for success. For example, if you are trying to eat better but you still have junk food in the house, get rid of the junk food. You may find that the effort to go to the store to get it is more than you are willing to expend.
- Forgetting. This could be akin to the yogis obstacle of lack of perseverance or alabdhabhumikatva.
Set reminders in your phone, on your calendar. Or tell someone you respect that you have a specific intention and a plan for it and you want to be accountable for it. Then you report back to them whether you did or didn’t do it. The other strategy is cues- for example, when I walk by the community centre, I will take my 10 deep breaths. This builds in your practice to a regular habit.
- Laziness, path of least resistance. In yogic terms, alasya.
This can be a positive thing as we are conserving energy when we take the path of least resistance. The way to make this work in our favour is make it as easy as possible to achieve our goal. For example, if we want to save 10% of our paycheque we can set up automatic debits. One and done.
Make it easier to do what you want to do and harder to do what you don’t want to be doing.
- Lack of confidence. In yoga terms, this is doubt or samshaya. Maybe you don’t feel you can make a change, you’re too old, too tired, too sick, etc. The strategy that works for this is to get a coach. Find someone to believe in you and pump you up until you can believe in yourself.
- Conformity. The right people around you can support you in your success. The wrong people can hold you back. Choose your tribe wisely. In yoga this is called satsang or truth-seekers. In Buddhism, it’s called sangha.
To sum it all up:
Start with an intention or goal that is aligned with your values. It needs to be meaningful for you. What is the reason behind this goal? What specific outcome are you wanting?
Use the timing of fresh start energy if you can. Make a plan for your goal that feels doable and that you look forward to. Have fun with it and make it play somehow. For example, work out with people you love, make your goal social, reward yourself, enlist support and accountability, make it hard to fail… you get the idea. And give yourself grace. Falling off the plan is being human. That’s not a failure. It’s the journey we are on.
Note that the yogic prescription for handling all these obstacles is to choose one practice and focus on it, namely meditation. We know now with modern science that the ability to concentrate and focus the mind will strengthen the neural pathways that we need to create our new habits and allow the old ones to fall into disuse. So whichever obstacle you have, whatever your goal is, meditation can help you along with way. Buddhism talks about the triple gem: the teachings (instructions), a teacher (guidance) and sangha (supportive community) as three pillars needed on the path to break out of our ignorance and bad habits.
If you are ready to take that fresh start energy and start moving your body in ways that feel good to you in a supportive community, sign up for yoga classes or contact me for a private session.
Check out the details here
Sources: The Yoga Sutras, Vipassana meditation discourses, Dr. Katy Milkman
